Chaos at the Waffle Hut

The only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen all at once.

‘Marge, just calm down.’ Otto said unsuccessfully. ‘We will get Irma back. We need to heal up a bit and then attack smartly.’ His words were going on deaf ears. Marge sat on her couch fuming mad. She had a variety of ordinance on her coffee table that she was prepping for an assault on the Horticultural Society. ‘I don’t give a flying fuck about what you think. We’re getting Irma back today.’ Marge muttered as she checked over her weapons. ‘Get them what they need and make sure everything is good to go.’ She said, motioning to Biff, Flint, Bethany, Chardonnay, and Annie. ‘We don’t want anyone’s guns to jam during the operation. Marge was determined and there was nothing stopping her when she was in this mood.

Marc and Rita fared better than expected. Their wounds were mostly superficial and they should be up and about sooner rather than later. Both were opting for sooner, having woken up in a strange facility with IVs in their arms and nurses hovering around. ‘Look, I feel fine.’ Marc said as he got up and paced around his room. ‘Get the doc in here, unhook me from these tubes and let me out of here. I have work to do.’ Rita felt the same in the room next door, but expressed herself with much more colorful metaphors than Marc. At any rate, there was nothing more that the doctors could do for them. They were far from 100 percent, but they didn’t need to be restrained, so the doctor showed them where their clothes were and told them to meet up with Marge in the farm house when they were ready.

Flint was dumbfounded. How could they have broken through his security and drove his RV back here? He spent the next hour checking everything and nothing was out of the ordinary, except for a brand new ‘Area 51’ air freshener hanging from his rear view mirror. On the back it said; ‘This RV smelled like ass. Bob.’ Flint instinctively flinched and sat in his driver’s seat shaking his head.’ At least this explains the package sitting on his nightstand, an energy pack for a Lightning Gun wrapped with a bow and a card saying ‘be more careful next time’.

It was mid-afternoon when everyone met in Marge’s living room. ‘We are going to attack in two groups.’ Marge started. ‘Alpha group, you are the diversion. Chardonnay, Bethany, Marc, and Flint will go in through the front door, using Chardonnay’s note as a pretense for meeting with Joseph. Your job is to keep them occupied while Chaparral group consisting of me, Rita, Biff, and Annie breach the building through the kitchen entrance, using the radio artifact to suppress the response. Otto, will remain in the van and cover our escape.’ Marge outlined the plan in detail and then passed out communication devices and ear plugs so that they could function around the radio’s effects.

The gang armed themselves. Chardonnay took a blackjack and a can of pepper spray and put them in her purse. Flint got out his leather trench coat and worked a way to hide his lightning gun under it. Biff was given three new baseball bats and he decided to also take a sling shot to balance out his weapons. The rest of the group checked their weapons and got in a plain white van that Otto pulled in front of the house. They stopped by the Curio Shop on their way to the Horticultural society to pick up the old time radio artifact. While they were there, Marge took a cylindrical object off of one of the shelves and put it in her pack. ‘Just in case.’ She muttered to herself.

They parked across from the Horticultural Society, out of range from any video surveillance. The two teams exited the van. Chardonnay, Bethany, Flint, and Marc went to the front door, while the other team made their way down the alley to the kitchen entrance.

‘Chardonnay Glass here to see Mr. Joseph.’ Chardonnay spoke confidently to the person who answered the door. ‘He should be expecting me.’ The door opened and the four were led to the bar, where Joseph Joseph was sitting. ‘I see that you’ve come to your senses and decided to work with us.’ Joseph began. ‘Ultimately it is in your best interest to tell us everything you know about the cross.’

Joseph went on and the group did their best to continue the conversation. Since they really didn’t know a whole lot, it was easy just to tell him what they know, making it seem like they were holding something back. ‘We know you have Irma.’ Bethany said. ‘Before we say anything else, we need to know that she’s alive.’

Joseph went to the television and punched in a code on his remote to reveal the feed from a closed circuit camera. Tied to a chair and seemingly unconscious was Irma Marsters. Behind Irma was a menacing plant that moved on three root-like legs. The plant had a long tentacle with a nasty barb on the end which moved to and fro, ever searching for things around it. ‘You see that she’s alive now, but she won’t be unless you talk.’ Joseph said. Chardonnay and Bethany did their best to confirm and repeat the scene that they were looking at for the benefit of the other group, listening through their comm system.

At that point, the silence was shattered by gun fire. ‘Hold them.’ Joseph said to his four henchmen in the bar room, motioning to Flint, Marc, Bethany, and Chardonnay. ‘I’m going to check this out. If I’m not back in 5 minutes, kill them.’

Chaparral group made their way down the alley, stopping just out of range from the video camera trained on the kitchen entrance. Biff got out his newly acquired sling shot and took aim at the camera. His shot kind of did the job. It knocked the camera down so all it saw was the ground in front of it. Rita quickly went to disconnect it. Now they just had to hope that someone wasn’t constantly monitoring it. Marge went to work on the door’s lock, deftly picking it. The team assured that their ears were protected and entered the kitchen. They turned on the radio and it had its desired effect. The chef was frozen in time. Rita quickly tied up the chef and gagged him with an ample swath of duct tape. They then made their way into the dining room, repeating the process.

This was going well. They were as yet undetected and it seemed that the Alpha team was getting some intelligence from Joseph. Irma was more than likely held here in their greenhouse. Next was the society’s ceremonial chamber. Hopefully Marc was mistaken in seeing a mummy lying on their altar. That would make things difficult.

No, Marc was pretty much right on in is account of what was in the ceremonial chamber. Three cultists stood watch over the mummified remains of Muriel Hogwolep, who was lying on the altar in the middle of the room. The large chamber connected to the greenhouse and three other rooms within the building. The radio had the effect of freezing the cultists in time, but the mummy got up and started to attack the group. At this point, the element of surprise was lost and events called for the ample use of gunfire.

The mummy was dealt with fairly easily, although, Rita jammed her Glock in the process. The gunfire brought 7 additional henchmen and Joseph into the ceremonial chamber. The good news was that, the radio did its job for most of them. The bad news was that three henchmen and Joseph were unphased by it.

Joseph motioned to his men and pointed at the radio. At the same time, Joseph pulled out a Desert Eagle and took aim on Marge. Having jammed up her automatic, Rita readied her assault rifle and pumped a burst of three rounds into Joseph’s chest, dropping him to the floor, dead. Biff was able to tag the goon diving for the radio with his bat, but he couldn’t prevent him from falling on and breaking the artifact.

Bethany was able to avoid the grasp of her assailant and make it for her gun, but she was not fast enough to avoid getting sliced by the cultist’s ceremonial dagger. Bethany’s distraction was enough for the others to break free of the grasp of their capture. They disposed of the four thugs and made their way to the ceremonial chamber to help their comrades.

Marc and Flint led the charge, followed by Bethany and Chardonnay. When they broke into the chamber, they saw Joseph lying on the ground in a pool of blood with three other dead cultists and what looked like a mummified corpse scattered on the ground. There were also eight rather upset cultists regaining their senses, brandishing knives at the group.

‘You don’t bring a knife to a gun fight.’ Marc said as he pumped three rounds into the nearest cultist. The fight went on, and even though Marge and Bethany both had weapons malfunctions, and Flint managed to ‘jam’ his lightning gun, the team disposed of the remaining cultists with few injuries.

During the battle, Annie took the cloak that they found a couple of nights ago and stealthily made her way into the greenhouse to look for her grandmother. Remaining under the cloak and trying to be as quiet as possible, Annie made her way to Irma. A large plant was moving quickly behind her grandmother, aware of the commotion in the building, but still unaware of the teenager. Slowly, Annie made it to her grandmother and started to untie her bindings.

Having dispatched the last of the goons, Marge said; ‘Where’s Annie?’ ‘I think that she went into the greenhouse.’ Marc said as he moved toward the glass door.

Marc, Marge and Biff made their way into the greenhouse, a large, overgrown structure, with little rhyme or reason to its existence. It looked like something out of a bad episode of the Adams Family. In the back was a large plant, about ten feet tall, that walked around on three root-like legs. The top of the plant has a large vine with a sharp barb on the end. The plant sensed the three enter the room and lunged for Marge, striking her with its poisonous barb.

Marge was lucky. The Trifid’s poison usually blinds its victim. She managed to ward off that nasty effect. Marge and Marc both shot at the plant to little effect. Biff had had enough. He had a Harpoon Gun and pulled it out and leveled aim at the plant.

‘Die motherfucker!’ Biff yelled as he shot the gun. The harpoon ran straight and true, imbedding itself in the glass wall of the greenhouse above where the Trifid was writhing.

Marc’s gun jammed as he fired at the plant. This was not going well.

Annie managed to remove the restraints holding her grandmother to the chair. Carefully, she lowered Irma down and under the cloak. She was unconscious but still alive. Quietly, Annie carried her grandmother toward the ceremonial hall, where her other friends were tending to their wounds.

Flint aborted his search of the ceremonial hall when he heard the commotion in the greenhouse. He had found an interesting box that he would investigate later on, but now he had to go help his friends. He looked at his broken Lightning Gun and found that the energy pack wasn’t seated properly, so he was back in business.

Flint ran into the greenhouse and saw Marge was injured, Marc was cursing at a jammed pistol, and Biff was running toward the menacing plant with his bat. Flint said; ‘Stand back!’ and fired at the plant, frying it with one shot.

Rita stayed back to tend to Bethany’s wounds while Flint and Chardonnay thought it best to search the ceremonial chamber for clues. Chardonnay found a tiny onyx cat statue under the altar where Muriel Hogwolep was resting. The cat was cold to the touch and gave her a very depressing feeling when she held it. ‘I don’t want this.’ She said as she put the statue back under the altar.

The dust began to settle from the afternoon’s battle. Flint called Deputy Andy and told him what happened. Andy said he’d be right there. Flint thought that with all these dead bodies, Slurm production would increase at the Alien Depot. Bob should be happy.

Bethany was bandaged up and Irma was revived. It would seem that Irma suffered permanent blindness from the attack of the Trifid. Otherwise, she should be okay. Flint was sitting in the corner, working on a puzzle box that he found. He seemed dazed, a bit more crazy than normal. As people have learned around Flint, it’s best that you don’t disturb him, especially when he has a crazy look on his face.

‘Alright, let’s get back to the compound and plan our next move.’ Marge said. ‘We need to heal up and put the pieces together.’

‘Hey, what’s this cat doing here?’ Chardonnay said, looking into her purse. She took the cat and put it on the altar with a distinct thud.

Flint looked up with a crazy smile on his face. ‘I know what we have to do. The puzzle box showed it all to me.’ He said, dropping the box on the floor. ‘I’ll tell you all about it on the ride back.’

Chardonnay was happy to be back in the van. A hot bath and a warm meal would be welcome after this afternoon’s adventure. She looked in her purse. What was that cat doing in there again? ‘This can’t be good.’ She muttered to herself.



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